January Doesn’t Change You. Formation Does.
Why preparation, not motivation, determines who holds under pressure.
January 1 is an arbitrary date.
Waiting on a date to change your life is usually a losing strategy.
That said, resets matter to people. Resolve matters. And if today gives someone the will to close the gap between who they are and who they think they are, I will not mock that.
What I will push back on is fantasy.
I hear it all the time, “If someone ever tried to hurt my family, no man on earth could stop me.”
That belief is comforting, but it is also usually false.
Most people greatly confuse intention with capability.
They assume adrenaline will replace training, love will replace conditioning, and gear will replace formation.
It will not.
Violence, when it appears, does not show up fair or cinematic. It shows up fast, chaotic, and practiced.
The person across from you may be younger, harder, and far more familiar with pain and pressure than you are. Wanting to win does not mean you can.
Preparedness is about building capacity over time, and that capacity has layers.
Physical capability matters. Strength. Conditioning. Medical skills. The ability to move, lift, carry, and stay functional under stress.
Environmental readiness matters. Your home. Your land. Your routes. Your margins. Your ability to function when systems degrade or fail.
Systems and habits matter. Boring, repetitive, unsexy work done consistently. Not “what do I feel like training today,” but what must be trained whether I feel like it or not.
Decision-making matters. Thinking clearly when things are loud, fast, and confusing. Knowing when violence is necessary, and when it is not.
I am not writing this from a pedestal.
My own training is not as systematized as it should be. I spend a lot of time honing other people’s skills and not enough focused time sharpening my own. That is a gap I am actively closing.
But I am clear-eyed about this.
You do not rise to the occasion…period!
Again, preparedness is not gear accumulation; it is formation.
That formation is not only external.
Every January, I read the entire Bible in 30 days. This is my sixth year.
I do not do it as a New Year’s resolution, and I do it whether I feel motivated or not. I use The Shred reading plan by Nathan Finochio.
It is demanding. It is not devotional-lite. It is formation through volume, repetition, and sustained exposure to the whole text.
I treat it the same way I treat physical training and preparedness work.
Daily. Structured. Non-negotiable.
If your inner life is undisciplined, fragmented, or driven by impulse, stress will find that fault line quickly. You cannot compartmentalize formation and expect to hold under pressure.
All of it matters.
If today is your reset, use it.
But do not lie to yourself about where you are.
Build capacity, build margin, and train/prepare deliberately.
Your family deserves more than confidence.
They deserve competence.